I am going to Cincinnati for Lauren's bachelorette party today. Seeing her is going to be so refreshing. To try and explain how blessed I am by her friendship would be the equivalent of an alto trying to sing "Glitter and Be Gay," which would be insulting to the ears. Human attempts are not adequate enough to explain just how much I love her.
I have gotten to my breaking point with trusting Father with my money. I know He provides. However, I am finally honest with myself and Him, that my lack of understanding is weighing on my emotions. And it's difficult to be unemployed. I do not like just waiting around. People say, "God helps those who help themselves." Well, that's not written in the Bible...anywhere. In fact, quite the opposite is written. I, as a human, do have a desire to make some type of income. However, God's part is to provide. My part is to trust. And I am asking Him for some type of income. But I also know that when I hear His voice, He is saying, "Wait. Let me take care of it." So I wait. I do not want to get a job just to get a job, making my source of provision something of my own effort. I want to allow God to lead me to the source of income that He knows is greatest for me. His ways are so much higher (Isaiah 55:8), and He satisfies our desires with good things (Psalm 103:5). His will is good, pleasing and perfect (Romans 12:2). However, I am also casting my cares upon Him by telling Him what is real in me, and what appeals to me.
It's good to finally cry over all of this. It's freeing.
