Leap. Explore. Rest. Leap..

I am still in Nashville.  I have been busy with dance classes, which has been such a blessing.  The dance teacher at Belmont invited to participate in as many classes as I would like.  It's a perk of being an alum.  However,  I noticed that I allowed myself to really start focusing on that a lot, and I was losing focus and time with my Love.  Days have seemed pretty bland.  But I trust God with that, and I am already able to recognize how He is moving me out of that for right now.

I'd love to give a brief summary of the hike I took in KY since it was fabulous, and I said I would do so.  : )  So I started on a trail that Caleb had recommended.  But I, in my curiosity, do not like to follow the path that is perfectly cleared for all to walk.  I came upon a path that was cleared of some shrubbery decided, "I'm gonna check that out!"  It was walkable, although it was not as easy because it was highly populated with thorn-covered branches.  Fortunately, I was wearing two pairs of pants, so it wasn't too painful.  As I followed the path, I saw a big, open area of green grass and lots of trees on a hill.  I got pretty excited to be in the open area all by myself.  Walking up the hill, I approached the top of it, at which point I gasped at the awesome sight of a gorgeous body of water.  Once my breath returned, I let out a vocal sigh, and then I giggled for a bit.  It was so obvious that the Spirit led me there because my Love wanted some intimate time with me.  And He knew I would absolutely delight in it.  I ventured around it to sit on the perfect layer of rocks where I had some of the sweetest time with my Love, singing, talking, laughing.  Some people would probably think me crazy.  But I seriously do-not-care.  It was one of the most amazing experiences in my life thus far.  And what an amazingly perfect way that He set it up!!  It was until writing this that I even realized how much the "path" represented the truth revealed in Scripture about the path not being easy, not commonly walked, but how it led to a paradise that I could not have dreamed up.  Wow...
I also got to climb a tree that I saw along the way.  And I saw a huge, huge, huge open area of grass that, as soon as I saw it, I stopped on the trail, naturally grinned a cunning grin, and then dashed down the field with a huge smile, running as fast as I could, splashing myself with the swampy grass, and it was a BLAST!  I even ended up on a different walking path amidst it all.  It was a great, great day.  : D
I did think I was going to fall over once I reach the peak of my hike because it was pretty steep uphill, and I was feeling the lack of youth in me.  Haha.

Since I have been in Nashville, Father has put me in play rooms with brothers and sisters who are on such a similar journey in their faith.  Four people, thus far, have said, "I'm from [given place], but I really believed that the Lord was calling me to Nashville for some reason.  I don't really know why yet, but I just believe He was telling me to come here."  AWESOME!!!  One of the young ladies with whom I was having this conversation gave me a really good word regarding all of it, and Father gave me discernment that it was the Spirit's words.  Hallelujah, right?!?!

The following is the post that I read from an online subscription today.  I'm posting it because it really resonated within my Spirit.  If you read it, praise God.  If you don't, praise God.
"Father, thank You for Your gift of the Holy Spirit, and for the beautiful ways He moves in us.  I praise You for Your perfect provision, and I trust You with the eyes that come upon this page.  In Your name of Love, Amen."


T. Austin-Sparks
From the latter days of the Apostles till now, the history of Christianity is a history of prisons. This history is not of literal or material prisons, though there have been not a few of these. It is a history of prisons, which are the result of man's long established habit of bringing theSpirit into bondage.
How many times has the Spirit broken loose and moved in a new and free way only to have that way brought under man's control and crystallized into another form, creed, organization, denomination, sect, order,community, or the like! The invariable result has been that the Spirit's free movement and life has been cramped or even killed by the prison of the framework into which He has been drawn or forced.
Every time we seek to express something divine in word or form, we at once limit it. When that expression or form becomes the established and recognized formula, we have, in effect, put fetters on the Spirit. God gives a vision, and every God-given vision has unlimited potential and possibilities. But all too soon the vision is laid hold of by men who never received it by the Spirit. Then the grapes of Eschol turn to raisins in their hands. So very many of the living fruits of the heavenly country have sufferedin this way and become dried, shrunken, and unctionless shadows of their earlyglory.
Successors, sponsors, or adherents build an earthlyorganization on a living movement of the Spirit, born with fire in the heart ofsome prophet. They imprison the vision in a tradition. A message becomes acreed; a heavenly vision becomes an earthly institution; a movement of theSpirit becomes a work, which must be kept going by the steam of human energyand maintained by man's resourcefulness.
Any real (or seeming) departure or diversion from therecognized and traditional order of creed or practice will sooner or laterbecome heresy, to be violently suspected, repressed, and cast out. What was, atits beginning, a spiritual energy-producing living organism, expressingsomething that God really wanted and to which He gave birth has too oftenbecome something which the next generation has to sustain and struggle hard atto keep going. The thing has developed a self-interest, and it will go hard with anyone or anything interfering or seeming to interfere with it. The Spirit has become the prisoner of the institution or system, and as a result thepeople become limited spiritually.
All along the way the Spirit must be referred to anddeferred to. In anything in which the Spirit may have His liberties limited,the Spirit will be a rebel. And if He is in us, He will make us to rebelagainst unspiritual restrictions.

Not A Moment Too Soon

2.15.11

It's been a bit since I last posted.  I've had some really refreshing days since then.  Logan's shower was a hit.  Ashley's ideas were so innovative and successful.  I know who I will have as my wedding coordinator if the Lord brings me to marriage someday!  And I really do mean that.

One of my favorite days was with Ashley, Miles and Matt (although Matt was only with us for a second since he was on his lunch break).  Ashley, Miles and I went to the park where we flew a Brobee kite.  Miles was on his way to tired, so as Ashley flew the kite, I had the amazing blessing of holding Miles.  Tears meet my eyes as I type this.  It was such a humbling time of great gratitude as he actually motioned for me to pick him up.  It overjoyed my heart when he and I finally had a moment of connection a couple of nights before, when he really started to taking a liking to me to the point of remembering me.  I found myself getting sad when I thought about my departing, worried that he'll forget me.  But my thoughts were graciously turned to remembering that it's in the Lord's hands, to trust Him with it, and to just enjoy the moment around me.  So I did.

I have really been stripped of so much that seemed familiar, known.  I am a wonderful expression of God, as are you.  That seems to be all that is known.

I went to Sevierville last week, and what a beautiful time with such beautiful people.  I stayed with Laura and Jonathan.  Laura was sick, so I took advantage of time to just chill out and not really do much of anything so that she could rest, and I could enjoy resting as well.  I met up with a friend when I first got there.  What an amazing confirmation of God's promises she is!  I listened to her talk about her heart's desires, desires based on God's truth and grace.  I thought back to a time when I heard her speaking of her frustrations with God (which was just a few months ago), and while I could not convince her of anything, God spoke so perfectly and sweetly into her spirit.  And it had to have been Him!!  It was awesome!  So yet again, I can trust God.  Duh!  He knows what He is doing!

This past weekend was my time is Kentucky, at the Abbey of Gethsemani.  Holy cow...it was beyond the possible expression of my inadequate, mortal words.  The most profound part is that it wasn't one of those times when I could really sense the power of the Spirit's movement while I was there - especially the first day and a half.  But, my goodness, when I took a moment to step back and behold, I was almost overwhelmed with the majesty of His grace.
I was silent all of Friday night and Saturday (I got lost on the way & was late because I chose to follow the internet's directions - not the most accurate of choices).  Well, I whispered an occasional, "Excuse me," and answered the priests when they asked me questions like, "Are you enjoying your stay?"  And let me just take a side note to say that they are some of the most genuinely pleasant, peaceful people I have ever encountered!  On Sunday, while Father Damion (ironic name, eh?) spoke to us, retreatants, I could recognize a great wish that the time was more of a discussion, but I prayed that God would give me peace in trusting His plan, and the way He set it up.  Well, hallelujah, because afterward, I decided to get nosey about a room labeled, "Visiting Room."  I sat in the room and spoke with three women who have been retreating there, together, for 11 years now.  Wow!  We had an unbelievable conversation about each of our journeys up to this point, where the Lord has us now, and I was so blessed to witness that what He was been sharing with me was so delicate and encouraging to where they are right now.  And they said things that brought my spirit to moments of soft, excited gasps.  So perfectly appointed, Christ as each of us.

I slept a whole lot between Friday night and Sunday afternoon (so nice), so by the time I decided to go for my hike, I was quite rested.  And I would just like to say that I had hoped to go for a hike on Saturday, but it just didn't happen...and God knew exactly what He was doing because Saturday was coooold.  Sunday - perfect!  I even sweated a little bit.  I will provide a grander synopsis of the actual hike as a separate post.  But I could not have imagined that it was going to be as awe-inspiring as it was.

I was planning to leave Monday morning.  After supper on Sunday, I sat in my bed with a book.  After about 15 minutes of reading, I decided, "I'm going to leave tonight."  I closed my book, packed my belongings, packed up the room, returned the library book I borrowed, dropped my key in the box, and drove back to Nashville where I stayed at my friend's, parents' house.  Again, it was by no coincidence because I woke up to his mother in the kitchen (as she usually is), who made me a delicious breakfast, and then sat and talked for a while.  Please pray for her.  Her heart is in pain as she is dealing with some family stuff that just doesn't make sense to her right now, to any of us.  She is a stunning woman of great faith, and she is really seeking out the Lord's guidance.  We got to talk, cry, read Scripture.  She is so lovely, and the devastation in her heart is heavy.  I am glad we got to share together.  Another obvious time of God reminding us that He knows what He is doing.

"Father, I thank you for the various types of communication available here on earth.  I trust that you led my way to a blog.  I pray for the eyes of every person who comes to this blog.  I praise you, that you have already prepared our hearts to hear what you have to say through each word.  May no one be unsettled by any words one reads or does not read, but that we trust that every eyes is led and distracted from the words needed and unneeded.  This blog is for you to use.  And each heart is for you to transform.  Hallelujah, we praise you for your majestic ways that are so much higher than our ways, and for your thoughts that are so much higher than our thoughts.  In your precious name I commit these expressions, Amen."

At Rest

Well I am in Florida.  Tomorrow is Logan's shower.  I am without transportation, but confident that the right transportation will be provided at the perfect moments.  Matthew was wonderful to let me use his car yesterday.  For that, I am super grateful.  : )  What a nice big brother.

Spending time with my Banjo has been wonderful.  He's so cute.  'Kota and Sheena are pretty incredible.  So much love in three, such little bodies of cuteness and warmth.

I am praising God for many things: Cody Reese's successful surgeries.  God's strength in Cody's family.  Random opportunities to serve family, friends and strangers alike.  His goodness.  His grace.  His love.  His faithfulness.  His mercy.  His attention to detail.  Peace in a situation that has been a struggle for my trust.  God has been so amazing to work out my trust in Him with it.  And at this moment, I am completely content with it, more so than I have been to date.  God is a good, good God.

I judged my mom's karaoke contest last night.  What a delight!  I was the "nice judge."  I was honest with people about the ways in which they can improve, but I enjoyed being able to see the beauty of each person in their unique, God-created ways.  I thanked Jesus for transforming my vision so that I could see His obsession with them, and it was such a treat to be able to share a little with them.  "In every moment, Lord, have your way in me."
Brian came out too.  That was wonderful.  He's such a blessing of a friend.  Always positive, willing to engage in real conversation, and so much fun!

I am going to go for a walk now.  That should be quite enjoyable.  I enjoy my walks with God.

God's Will

God's will for me: That I give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God's will for [me] in Christ Jesus. (1 Thessalonians 5:18

What freedom means to me: I can trust God with every aspect of this life, whether regarding my personal journey's path, or everyone else's around me.  I can trust because I have learned that His love for us is great.  His delight in each person is so specific and deeply profound.  Sin (unbelief) entered the world and fogs our understanding of this TRUTH, but the reality of it has never, does not, and will never change.

How freedom affects my journey: As God grows in me, I am able to rest in God's grace for every, single moment.  I can accept grace for myself as well as others.  As I welcome it, Jesus changes my vision to His, my thoughts to His, and I get to enjoy it.

For the first time in my life, I am truly aware of the truth of that.  And I still have so much more to learn!  The beauty of it is that I don't have to worry about what I still have to learn.  I am rejoicing in the ways that God is showering His love on me right now.  After all, right now is all I have, right?  I am just where I need to be...right now.

I have a bit of a lead on a part-time job.  I'm praying about and trusting God with it...well, more praying about trusting God with it.  : )