2.15.11
It's been a bit since I last posted. I've had some really refreshing days since then. Logan's shower was a hit. Ashley's ideas were so innovative and successful. I know who I will have as my wedding coordinator if the Lord brings me to marriage someday! And I really do mean that.
One of my favorite days was with Ashley, Miles and Matt (although Matt was only with us for a second since he was on his lunch break). Ashley, Miles and I went to the park where we flew a Brobee kite. Miles was on his way to tired, so as Ashley flew the kite, I had the amazing blessing of holding Miles. Tears meet my eyes as I type this. It was such a humbling time of great gratitude as he actually motioned for me to pick him up. It overjoyed my heart when he and I finally had a moment of connection a couple of nights before, when he really started to taking a liking to me to the point of remembering me. I found myself getting sad when I thought about my departing, worried that he'll forget me. But my thoughts were graciously turned to remembering that it's in the Lord's hands, to trust Him with it, and to just enjoy the moment around me. So I did.
I have really been stripped of so much that seemed familiar, known. I am a wonderful expression of God, as are you. That seems to be all that is known.
I went to Sevierville last week, and what a beautiful time with such beautiful people. I stayed with Laura and Jonathan. Laura was sick, so I took advantage of time to just chill out and not really do much of anything so that she could rest, and I could enjoy resting as well. I met up with a friend when I first got there. What an amazing confirmation of God's promises she is! I listened to her talk about her heart's desires, desires based on God's truth and grace. I thought back to a time when I heard her speaking of her frustrations with God (which was just a few months ago), and while I could not convince her of anything, God spoke so perfectly and sweetly into her spirit. And it had to have been Him!! It was awesome! So yet again, I can trust God. Duh! He knows what He is doing!
This past weekend was my time is Kentucky, at the Abbey of Gethsemani. Holy cow...it was beyond the possible expression of my inadequate, mortal words. The most profound part is that it wasn't one of those times when I could really sense the power of the Spirit's movement while I was there - especially the first day and a half. But, my goodness, when I took a moment to step back and behold, I was almost overwhelmed with the majesty of His grace.
I was silent all of Friday night and Saturday (I got lost on the way & was late because I chose to follow the internet's directions - not the most accurate of choices). Well, I whispered an occasional, "Excuse me," and answered the priests when they asked me questions like, "Are you enjoying your stay?" And let me just take a side note to say that they are some of the most genuinely pleasant, peaceful people I have ever encountered! On Sunday, while Father Damion (ironic name, eh?) spoke to us, retreatants, I could recognize a great wish that the time was more of a discussion, but I prayed that God would give me peace in trusting His plan, and the way He set it up. Well, hallelujah, because afterward, I decided to get nosey about a room labeled, "Visiting Room." I sat in the room and spoke with three women who have been retreating there, together, for 11 years now. Wow! We had an unbelievable conversation about each of our journeys up to this point, where the Lord has us now, and I was so blessed to witness that what He was been sharing with me was so delicate and encouraging to where they are right now. And they said things that brought my spirit to moments of soft, excited gasps. So perfectly appointed, Christ as each of us.
I slept a whole lot between Friday night and Sunday afternoon (so nice), so by the time I decided to go for my hike, I was quite rested. And I would just like to say that I had hoped to go for a hike on Saturday, but it just didn't happen...and God knew exactly what He was doing because Saturday was coooold. Sunday - perfect! I even sweated a little bit. I will provide a grander synopsis of the actual hike as a separate post. But I could not have imagined that it was going to be as awe-inspiring as it was.
I was planning to leave Monday morning. After supper on Sunday, I sat in my bed with a book. After about 15 minutes of reading, I decided, "I'm going to leave tonight." I closed my book, packed my belongings, packed up the room, returned the library book I borrowed, dropped my key in the box, and drove back to Nashville where I stayed at my friend's, parents' house. Again, it was by no coincidence because I woke up to his mother in the kitchen (as she usually is), who made me a delicious breakfast, and then sat and talked for a while. Please pray for her. Her heart is in pain as she is dealing with some family stuff that just doesn't make sense to her right now, to any of us. She is a stunning woman of great faith, and she is really seeking out the Lord's guidance. We got to talk, cry, read Scripture. She is so lovely, and the devastation in her heart is heavy. I am glad we got to share together. Another obvious time of God reminding us that He knows what He is doing.
"Father, I thank you for the various types of communication available here on earth. I trust that you led my way to a blog. I pray for the eyes of every person who comes to this blog. I praise you, that you have already prepared our hearts to hear what you have to say through each word. May no one be unsettled by any words one reads or does not read, but that we trust that every eyes is led and distracted from the words needed and unneeded. This blog is for you to use. And each heart is for you to transform. Hallelujah, we praise you for your majestic ways that are so much higher than our ways, and for your thoughts that are so much higher than our thoughts. In your precious name I commit these expressions, Amen."
